More on being fat ( taken from other material I have written and edited for display)

Weight in my opinion is about not hating yourself, it's about loving yourself enough to not be an active participant in your own death or at best immobilization and it’s about asking the people and the world to respect you and give you your due.



Obesity is a multi component disease and spans such things as addiction to co enabling, depression, and self-hatred. It is usually not as much about self-control as you think it is.

It’s about your head and your life. It’s really about exploring where you are, where you wanted to be and admitting to yourself the things that you’re afraid to admit that are making you unhappy. There are no jolly fat people. We are to a one, sad people with difficult life’s and we are on the whole unsatisfied with something that we are so afraid of even verbalizing,
So afraid of facing, that many of us are literally eating our heart out to avoid bringing to the surface.



Fat is often fear turned in on itself. What is true that you cannot really deal with being true?

Find that and your most likely going to find the root of the whole thing. Ultimately, that’s the journey that people who succeed at this have to end up taking. Or you have yourself operated on as I did.

That is sort of like taking a pin out of a grenade that you cannot put back. If you live through this operation then you are going to face all those things regardless of your desire to. The actual process of dealing with becoming involuntarily thin forces you to face what your life was like when you were fat and there is no way to not have to deal with those things regardless of your capability or readiness to do so. Like stepping in front of a train filled with your nightmares and deciding to apply the brake or let it run you down.



Studies are showing that people who are just overweight, not thin but overweight have an even a better chance of living longer then people who are thin, you don’t need to be thin , fuck being thin, and fuck everyone who says you have to be.

Instead be healthy in your mind and the body will follow. Most of us are not trying to be a fashion model, we are trying to have a good life that fulfills us and not die younger then we have to. . As far as dieting, If you really look at the research more then 90% of people who diet end up putting back more weight then they had previous before the diet. Looking to do any, sort of radical change is useless.

The best thing you can do is look at losing two pounds a week. Any faster then that barring having a dramatic altering of your physiology , is unhealthy and unproductive.


I totally respect and agree with people of weight who have no interest in the surgery. It’s a killer both psychologically and physically. Knowing what I know now I still would have done it but if I were king of the world, the amount of people that would be allowed to get gastric surgery plus the qualifications for getting it would be changed dramatically.

I do not know one person whose has this surgery and came out the same person as they went in. More then 70% of people who have this end up having problems with handling the mind fuck that this is , The real studies are rife with drug and alcohol abuse, irresponsible sexual liaisons , divorce, loss of relationships and sometimes even suicide.


The psychological ramifications alone are enough to warrant a serious evaluation and that’s not including the physical. I have to work very hard at eating and it doest always work, I can have a week to two weeks when I am very hungry and have almost no success at eating, I may not be the norm but I am not far off of it. That is just physical.


Then there are as you say, people who are so intent on their addiction to food that they have this operation, lose their stomachs or have them made the size of a thumb, reroute or lose more then twenty feet of intestine but end up out eating the operation. A close friend had it, He was close to 500 Lbs, He had it because he was going to die very soon if he did not lose weight. Literally, he had heart failure and they could not even attempt fixing it unless he lost 150 lbs fast as he was 100% clogged in 3 arteries and 50% clogged in the last one. He was so big that they could not stent him because the machine they use to guide the wire would not see through the fat and he was too big to survive open heart.

So he lost his two hundred pounds, had a stent put in and went right back to putting that weight back on. Even if it made him nauseous to eat, now he is 67 and is well over 300 again after hitting a low of 275. I am different I went from near 400 to 149 at my lowest and now hold at 170-180. If my addiction to food were what you said it was, I would and anyone would be able to out eat this operation. You get two to three years if having this tool help you and then most people can eat much of what they did before.

Remember how I said this is about how much you hate yourself? This is one of my closest friends, do you think that if I or anyone else had the ability to intervene in this that we would not have. I cannot, no one but he can and I know the man and he hates himself. Why, or from what or what happened is his journey and he’s made a choice not to take it and his self loathing is materializing in a slow almost passive suicide.


But weight watchers and other fad diets are also bullshit. If it really was about counting points then we as a society would not have this struggle. Do your research and look at the long-term success ratio of people who use any sort of fad diet. The failure rates are in the high nineties.

You have to look at yourself and say I’m not going to lose two hundred pounds. I am not even going to diet. It is about saying I am going to do one thing this week that is healthy for me. Not healthy like eating more vegetables ( though that could be it if you chose), healthy like saying “This week I will stand up for myself one time” or This week I will do something to mitigate the pain I feel, this week I will take one step at advocating for myself and loving myself, take a day off, just do something that you like and do it for yourself selfishly because if you can’t love yourself you’ll find that your giving permission for people around you not to love you as well.

This week I will give myself permission to show myself some love. If you can just do one thing, one thing for you, one thing to help with the pain then you have taken the first real step.


Weight loss happens 2 lbs a week and no faster or your virtually 100% guaranteed at gaining more back. It’s a series of little steps and all about loving yourself just a little more this week then you did the last.

If you can get ahold of things and start to love yourself then losing two pounds a week is nothing, Childs play, just eat less, not a huge amount less, somewhat less. If you’re not able to even admit that there is something that’s hurting your soul then that two pounds might a pretty tough haul.


All I can say is I have been through the shit. I’m still in the shit but trying hard. and I learn to love myself more every day or I try and don't succeed but I try.

Cause that’s all I got. No diets, no exercise plans, no doctors, no pills and no surgery. In the end, it’s you, your head, your life and how willing you are to give yourself permission to love yourself, be loved and to fight for yourself and so much less about food addiction for the most part then you would ever dream.