Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Found on an advice board

I need help

I am getting married in three months and I have 9 of my 10 maids of honor already asked. The problem is my sister. She is excessively obese and I fear her presence will ruin the pictures so I was going to ask her to be a hostess instead. She has been asking about dresses and stuff and I keep putting her off. What would be the nicest way to do it. I really want my wedding to be special, I mean I am going to remember it forever. Thanks.
______________________________________________________________
My response---

Subhater The problem is my sister

The problem is that even though she's your sister your still willing to relegate her to the background because your ashamed that people will see your fat sister in your pictures and gross everyone out or will it just gross you out? Or your ashamed that someone who shares DNA with you has the dreaded fat? The only thing you can do is be honest.

Tell her that because she has a weight problem you see her as less of a human being and as such you want her to go hide somewhere when the camera comes out. In fact why not just give her a coupon for Pizza Hut that day and get her to take a miss on the whole thing.

So fucking cruel ..The horrible shit is I know people like you exist and are so vain . One day sister your going to wake up and your man is going to make a little joke about the cottage cheese that's growing on your thighs and your world will fall apart and your going to start to have an inkling of what your sister feels like 24 hours a day.

No my mistake you'll be to busy rushing to get Lipo done while your sister will be out living her life and trying to get over the fact that her closest blood relative doesn't love her because she's fat....



Why is it when South Africa had an aparthied system we all boycotted it, yet India has had one forever thats's apparently not worthy of a boycott

In this Horrible CNN article a man pushed a 6 year old girl onto burning embers for walking on a road that wasn't designated for Untouchables? If the girl was put into a fire because she was walking in a white's only road the political outcry would serve to cripple India's already hurting economy and we would force it to change.

Friday, April 25, 2008

When did 60 Minutes stop doing news and start doing Infomercials?



.

It's taken me five days to get this post out. It's taken me five days to try not to make this post so full of vitriol and so that I could make a coherent point.

I waited five days so I could try and write this because I had to get my head straight.

See, as a Gastric Bypass blogger which I guess would be what I am, when I write here-I don't want to be radically of one unbending opinion. I want people who are considering doing this to come here and read what I say and believe that I'm not going to take a dump on something just because my experience is negative (which it has not been universally) - I want you dear reader to come here and not think I'm an anti-anything.

It's like (when you read an article by Anne Coulter)...you know that regardless of how valid a point is going to be, she's going to take a shit on it if it's suggested by a Democrat. That's not what I want to do. What I want to do is try and spread some information to conquer some of the disinformation which is being spread by people who on the whole have a hell of a lot more money and resources then I do, or more than anyone I know does.

The medical community makes a good deal of money on this type of surgery and because of that, frankly they want to present it in the best light possible.

I am saying that what you're being told is a partial truth that has some key important health related issues left out about bariatric surgery. And before you go and do this, I want you to know exactly what could possibly happen to you so that you can make the most informed decision on what you are going to do with your life as possible. – That’s why I and other people write these types of posts.

I’m not against the medical community, I’m grateful to it. I’m not (as someone suggested), trying to keep any more fat people from getting to be thin.

I don’t hate my surgeon more than hating his bedside manner.

He did what I asked him to do-and in fact, I make it a point to try not to hate at all.

I guess that what I am shooting for here is trying to be as unbiased as someone can be, and still be affected. I have a gastric bypass so there is only so much balancing I can do, because what I write has a slant of coming from my experience which is really only mine and not anyone else's, even if they have a gastric bypass. As I have pointed out ad nauseum, while there may be a commonality of side effects or complications, none of us have the same combination so we are each unique.

While to some extent I certainly write these articles for my own health, part of me hopes that I'm also writing it for yours. If you have had WLS, if you're considering having WLS, if you're a support person for someone who is considering or has had WLS, I want you to come here and get some real information. Because one thing I can assure you of and I promise no bias about is that what you see mostly in major media is misinformation- hell, to be honest- a great deal of it is bordering on blatant propaganda.

We bloggers, citizen journalists, nerds whatever... or at least most of the good ones try and get proper source material, look at the issue from both sides, sort the shit from the truth and then post an honest article based on the evidence that is available mixed with personal experience and to a certain extent then take our personal opinion and, well- we try and justify it. And if we cannot then and if we are doing this correctly and morally we don't publish the post, or we do and go back and edit it, or go back and delete it or something.

So here is what I want to know. Who Paid off Leslie Stahl? Or the producers of 60 minutes? Or the CBS Corporation to put that boldly biased piece of shit that they are trying to pass off as a news item?

Did someone catch a producer or someone of importance or maybe Leslie herself banging an underage prostitute or something? Is this the blood money they demanded in order to save someone's career? This dangerous commercial that is kissing the ass of every bariatric center and surgeon in the world. Because I can't see how any organization which wishes to have their news department looked on as actually reporting news in a fair and unbiased way… so they can maintain their journalistic integrity, would allow that over hyped, untrue, dangerous story to be presented in that way.

Yes, losing a great deal of weight via Gastric Bypass can cure diabetes (in a way). So can eating the pancreas hacked out of a small baby with a chain saw but I wouldn't quite say you should do that and yes, WLS will help with your apnea , so would cutting your head off at the neck but again I think that’s a bit extreme. Though apparently CBS news thinks that presenting what is arguably that equivalent in my opinion is fine.

But what really gets me is the one sided view of the whole thing. Where is anyone more then a year out on that panel eh? That's what I really want to know. Gastric bypass prevents cancer? Almost all cancers can be prevented by losing weight via WLS? Not just losing weight but losing weight specifically via WLS is what they talked about and nothing else. And if you think that there are not people too scared or ignorant to not have thought of the whole losing weight without WLS thing you are wrong. Some misguided soul who’s borderline overweight but paranoid is somehow going to have this done to themselves because of this thing they put out there. I suppose that prophylactic radiation or chemotherapy might prevent many cancers as well but I would again say that’s a very extreme answer for that.

If it is true Leslie that this surgery is such a lifesaver and a walk in the park, why couldn't you find one person who had this operation in say 2005 or 2006 and had them discuss their outcome or their feelings? Yea, ok...it cured Diabetes for some people- hell- it even cured it for me. You know what I have in place. I have at the least a very severe case of Hypoglycemia.

What I do know is that while I may not be a diabetic anymore , about three times a week I wake up at 2 or 4 AM needing sugar so badly that I have to crawl down my staircase for fear of falling down it, just to drink juice for an hour or two so I feel like I'm not going to drop dead on the spot, I keep hard candy by my bed because when it happens it feels like I'm going to die, and I thought that was really something that was very unique to me. But when I went out and talked to several nutritional experts on WLS it turns out that that's one of the most common things that happen to people who have WLS, but most WLS people are not as lucky to be sugar tolerant like I am-they have dumping syndrome instead. So what do those people do…when you cure them of diabetes but they have Hypoglycemia? So it's not Diabetes but it'll kill you just as dead and I saw nothing about that on 60 minutes.

Forget me, take the hundreds of thousands of people who have had WLS over the last five years alone and you're telling me that 60 minutes couldn't find one person to be on that panel that might have had a less than rosy experience, so they could give people some perspective before essentially putting in a bold endorsement of this procedure via faux scientific news? That fluff piece about how you should go and have your stomach chopped up, resectioned and stapled down and have a few feet of intestine rerouted? That’s a little funny isn't it?

Hell, I have sustained my weight loss. I've never gone over 175 since the day I hit that mark. I was operated on at 388, I’m three years post op, and if you will go back through this blog, I have never ever said yet that I am totally on the side of wishing that I had not done this. I mean I’ve had my days but I'm not seeking a reversal and am pretty sure that yes, knowing what I know now I might still do it again.

Even though for the most part it sucks and yeah, I still think it will probably kill me; I don’t know how much faster the weight related issues would have killed me. Maybe in the end it’s a wash. There is that whole quality of life thing though and right now to a point it’s still better than it was on my good days at nearly 400 pounds and I guess I will have to wait and see what happens with that.


Why didn't 60 minutes call someone like me? The Bariatric association didn't approve the call or something?


Don’t tell me that CBS couldn’t find another guy like me? Shit, my Mom always said that I was a unique little snowflake and I wanted to believe her.

But I’m not a unique little snowflake. There are plenty of people, some not even like me at past a year or further who are more happy, even thrilled with their experience who still could have provided some actual real perspective that yes, even though they were happy, that it's not a tea party and it is hard work- frustrating at best, possibly a mind fuck and at worst it could kill ya dead.

And even those of us with the decent outcomes (and I guess I would consider still putting myself there) because I feel ok most of the time would say that it's hard work and has a real strong emotional component that is in a great deal of the cases and for a great many people is sometimes overwhelmingly negative.

One question about suicide from an “expert” (when are surgeons experts on Psychology by the way?) who says," Yeah, well, we don't know about suicide yet, because some people realize that being fat wasn't all the problems they had in the world.” And then back to the parade of health benefits

I'm sure I'm not the only guy in the world who kept their weight off (but don't think that I won't be at all surprised if a year from now that changes too and I'll be equally unsurprised if it does not)…why couldn’t they have a few people a few years out? Maybe one, two people whose experience was less then rosy.

So know this. This clip above ...it's fluff, it has no real journalistic integrity, it's untrue and CBS should be shamed for presenting this to people like they have.

To reach out to me please send an email to blogger(at)fatjewguy(dot)com

Friday, April 18, 2008

And sometimes all you can do is cry- The sad ending of a weight-loss struggle; Husband doesn't regret wife undergoing gastric bypass: She had to do it

Via St Catharines Standard Click Here for Original Article

Cheryl Harvey has stopped eating. She vomits white foam.

Her medications have not stayed down for days. Without the Zoloft and the Lorazepam, her depression and panic are growing.

It is 3 1/2 months since she had gastric bypass surgery.

Those around Cheryl are concerned.

Is this what it's supposed to be like after the surgery?

"She really bottomed out and couldn't eat anything," says her husband, Don. "We began to suspect the stomach was closed off. Food wasn't going through properly."

He takes her to Hamilton General Hospital. Doctors suspect there

is something wrong with her gastric pouch, but nobody there is an expert. They send her to McMaster University Medical Centre to see a gastrointestinal specialist.

It is decided Cheryl needs to go back to Humber River Regional Hospital in Toronto where she had her bypass.

When she gets there, it is determined there is indeed a problem. She has a stricture. A tightening where her small bowel joins the gastric pouch.

"It's a very minor kind of thing," says Dr. John Hagen, her surgeon. "It happens fairly often and was very mild in Cheryl's case."

Cheryl is operated on for a second time. This procedure is quick. The stricture is opened. Cheryl is sent home the same day. Everyone is relieved when she immediately begins to eat again. For the first time in three weeks, she is able to digest food.

She says she can't feel her feet. They are tingling. Her left one is worse. She is afraid to stand or walk. Cheryl has had a lifelong fear of falling. Now, having gone so long without being able to keep her meds down, Cheryl's anxiety has escalated.

At home in Hamilton, she is unable to make it upstairs to the washroom. Don puts a commode chair in the living room, next to the brown floral couch Cheryl lives on these days.

"I was concerned about her not being able to walk," says Don. "I was afraid she would become an invalid."

On Sept. 14, Don takes Cheryl to the cottage. The quiet will do them some good, he thinks. His sister is with them, visiting from New Brunswick. The problem is, Cheryl is still emotionally distraught. Although she is back on her Zoloft and Lorazepam, they haven't really started taking effect yet. It takes a while for that to happen.

"She got worse after we got to the cottage," Don says. "She reverted to a psychological state she hadn't been in for a long time."

On the evening of Sept. 17, Cheryl is sitting on her walker. She falls off it, onto the floor.

"She has a very, very serious panic attack. She thought she would never get up," says Don. "We had to call the ambulance. It took five men to get her up. There are no handles on people."

Cheryl weighs 267 pounds.

She spends the next two nights in the Haliburton hospital.

Her blood pressure is high and her vision is blurred. For a while, one eye is open, the other shut.

A physiotherapist tries to get Cheryl up and walking. She only succeeds in getting her to a commode chair. Cheryl, too afraid to fall again, refuses to walk.

Doctors in Haliburton contact Dr. Greg Curnew, a cardiologist at Hamilton General Hospital.

It is decided Cheryl needs to be closer to home. Her case is complex. She would benefit from being able to see her family and friends. Don will have support, too.

On Sept. 20, a Thursday, Cheryl is discharged from Haliburton hospital. There is a bed waiting for her at the Hamilton hospital.Don, his sister and a highly agitated Cheryl set out after dark that night for the three-hour drive.

"She had an exaggerated feeling of things happening around her," Don explains. "So driving in a car was bad."

He takes her straight to the hospital.

Cheryl gets up to use the toilet at the hospital, but that's it. She refuses to walk.

"It's like I'm on the outside, watching my life go by," she tells her husband.

On Saturday, her sisters, Mary Lou Ashcroft and Dorothy Hamid, pay her a visit. What they see scares the hell out of them.

"She looked absolutely terrible," Mary Lou says. For the first time since her weight-loss surgery, they fear losing their sister.

"The not walking was a problem," Curnew says."We needed to determine if it was a neurological problem. We had tests scheduled."

On Saturday, Curnew spends 45 minutes at Cheryl's bedside. They chat about her weight and hatch a plan to keep her healthy and on track once she leaves hospital.

"Her spirits were good and she was starting to mobilize," says Curnew, who adds that two-thirds of his cardiac patients have a weight problem. By Monday, the medications seem to be kicking in and Cheryl is a bit more like herself.

"She brightened up a lot over that time," says Don.

It helps, too, that Cheryl has a constant stream of visitors.

Don goes in for the morning, heads back home for lunch, then to his wife's bedside again in the afternoon.Her best friend, Jo-Anne Cairns, is there every day. Sometimes for four or five hours. Cheryl's sisters try to be there for meals. They believe their presence encourages her to eat better.

Today, two weeks before Thanksgiving, the siblings plan for the holiday.

Cheryl, still in her hospital bed, says she wants to host Thanksgiving dinner at her house.

Wednesday, Sept. 26, is shaping up to be a busy day.

Don gets to the hospital early.

At 10 a.m., a new psychiatrist meets with Cheryl. "She had a fabulously long record of Cheryl's history," Don says.

For some reason, nobody has called Dr. Valerie Taylor, who has been Cheryl's psychiatrist for four years. Taylor specializes in obese patients.Cheryl is cheerful. Talking about coming home. Still in bed though. Afraid to get up. She is scheduled for an EMG (electromyography) in the afternoon to look at the nerve action in her legs to find out the cause of the tingling.

At 12:45 p.m. Don slips home for lunch. Just before 2 p.m., the phone rings.

Don knows he and Cheryl are an unlikely couple.

She is 52, he is 66. It is her first marriage, his third. She is loud and boisterous. He is a loner. She, at her heaviest, weighs 421 pounds. He weighs 180 pounds.

"We are two people, poles apart, who complement each other. We mix together to make a whole unit. She was great company.... She was the social side of me. Without her, I didn't have many friends. With her, I had a world of friends."

Don is in awe of his wife. Of the way she can stand up and challenge those around her to pay attention to obesity. The way she calls for caring and compassion.

"For all the strength she had for dealing with politicians and bureaucrats, she has so much vulnerability. She could move mountains even though she was shaking in her boots."

Don answers the phone.

It is a friend, calling from the hospital. Don needs to come back in.

The friend had dropped in for a visit with Cheryl. But her room is full of doctors and nurses. Staff are coaxing Cheryl out of bed. They are trying to get her on her feet after days of lying down.

"If you're not particularly mobile, clots will form," says Curnew. As she struggles to sit up, Cheryl complains of having difficulty breathing. Then she collapses. Her vital signs are lost.

A blood clot, at the top of her right thigh, had broken off and was making its way to her lungs.

"I got there and there was a chaplain in the hall outside her room," Don says, weeping.

"I knew the chaplain was bad news. They were still working on her in the room. So we went to a quiet room at the end of the hall and just waited. It was 10 or 15 minutes before the doctor came in and said they couldn't stop it. They couldn't fix it."

Cheryl anne Harvey died four months and 10 days after having the gastric bypass surgery she hoped would save her life.

When she took her last breath, she had lost 120 pounds.

Cheryl's death is not officially considered a surgical mortality. To qualify for that statistical category, she would have had to die within 30 days of her gastric bypass.

Her death is, however, related to complications from surgery.

"It's so disappointing and so tragic when this happens," says Dr. Hagen, who performed the bypass. Despite the risks involved with the surgery, Hagen still believes it was the best option for Cheryl.

"She would have died a premature death without it," he says. "She'd done spectacularly. She was right on target. But still she was morbidly obese when she died."

"She was the perfect patient."

Dr. Arya Sharma, one of Canada's leading obesity experts who treated Cheryl in Hamilton before her surgery, sees it differently.

"I'm not an advocate for obesity surgery," he says.

Society seems to think the best way to deal with the country's obesity epidemic is to sink more money into gastric bypass procedures. "But the last thing I want to see is surgeons churning out patients with no followup care." "Patients need lifelong followup," he says. "Cheryl is not alone. She died from long-term complications from surgery. We must put out a call for more funding for bariatric care."

Sharma is now based in Edmonton, where he is professor of medicine and chair for cardiovascular obesity research and management at the University of Alberta. He is also the scientific director of the Canadian Obesity Network. Taylor, the psychiatrist, is having dinner with a woman who has started a support group for gastric bypass patients."

"Did you know Cheryl Harvey died?" the woman asks. "Two weeks ago." Taylor hadn't even known Cheryl was hospitalized.

She is so upset, she has to leave the restaurant.

Don says if someone had realized earlier there was a stricture between Cheryl's bowel and her gastric pouch, maybe she would have been able to have it fixed sooner and maybe she would have taken all her meds and maybe she would never have fallen and maybe she would not have spent days lying in a hospital bed developing a fatal blood clot.

But Don is a realist.

"It's like when my two-year-old son died. If any one of 10 different things hadn't happened that day he drowned, he'd be alive now. There is a combination of things happening all the time."

Don does not regret the surgery. Would not try to talk some other morbidly obese person out of it.

"She had to do it as far as I can see," he says simply. "She was probably looking at a dead-end street the other way as well."

"Cheryl had been looking her entire life for a way to help people," Mary Lou says. "But because of her lack of education and her size, she was limited. But this - sharing her story - this, she could run with."

Don gets the final word. He takes a moment. Head in hands. Clearing his throat. Eyes red from crying.

"They say beauty is only skin deep. Well, Cheryl's beauty ran very deep."

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